all 3 specimens are screeching like wild monkeys in their zeal to fight and not behave. I'm just waiting for them to start picking bugs off of each other. If the kids don't quit fighting I'll lose what's left of today's brain cells. Not going to the gym until later but may have to move that up!

My vacation was pure bliss

Now I'm back with the 3 SPECIMENS. I say specimens because I'm not sure these are the same little curiosities that I left when I went on vacation. I've returned to 3 naughties who have been acting out ever since I got back. Mainly the boys - I guess they're "punishing" me for being gone.

#3, Zane knows how to spell "ass" and thinks that if he spells it and says "hole" afterwards he isn't actually saying asshole. He also thinks that it is ok to call his brother and sister "anus hole" and that is not actually saying asshole. Throwing things at his siblings when they make him mad, and hiding their toys from them also gives him great pleasure. The best way to describe his behaviour aside from being a potty mouth is a BRAT.

#2, Micah has been having meltdowns that are just about pushing me to have a nervous breakdown. I think some laudanum would help me out immensley when this happens. Yes, you're right. Too addicting. Maybe just some wine or tequila. Micah also likes to call his brother an ass and both have been arguing with each other and destroying each others Lego creations.

#1, Zoe thinks that she must spend the night at one of her girlfriend's houses every night, or spend the whole day with them at least and that being at home is just SO boring. She looses the ability to hear and understand any form of language when I offer to give her things to do that aren't as boring as hearing her bitching and complaining.

All 3 love to sass more than usual, and I think that it's time to go out and buy a bar of nasty tasting soap. Oh, and a pair of ear plugs for myself.

Today's game of pretend....

The favorite game today is for Zane to play dead, while Zoe and Micah are "CSI" agents collecting evidence. I found it very amusing!

Let the Madness Begin.....

I am sure that my 3 Little Curiosities have somehow cloned themselves. It seems that every time I turn around one of them is right there asking me to do something for them, though I suspect it's 2 or 3 of each. I would have better luck giving myself a root canal without novacaine than being able to keep them entertained and occupied at all times! At times I feel like a monkey with one baby monkey hanging off my neck, and the other two hanging onto my legs as I try to walk (run!) away from them.

The littlest curiosity, Zane has turned into the wild man of Borneo since losing his first tooth and turning 5. I'm afraid to cut his hair as that usually sparks a couple of days of naughtiness from him anyways. What is up with haircuts making kids act so naughty??

My mad scientist, curiosity #2, Micah has been furiously drawing and making plans in his "secret" book for his "secret laboratory." Oh, yes. He's also drawing up plans to make a bot. I have visions of a robotic "Talking Tina" chasing me throughout the house to lock me up in a "secret" soundproof room that only Micah has the key to. Which of course he'll lose and I'll be stuck forever in the secret room and no one will hear my screams!

Back to reality. Tonight Slim Daddy went to pick up curiosity #1, Zoe from being at a sleepover at her friend's house. Much to his horror - she and her friend thought it would be hysterical to shoot Cocoa Puffs out of their nostrils at him. I told him that he should be glad that the girls didn't fart on him instead since the girls have the uncanny ability to fart at will.

Amidst the whining, crying and telling me that I'm "not fair!!" I told them all tonight that I refuse to go anywhere tomorrow until all three clean up their wormhole bedrooms. Yeah. Like that will happen so my diabolical plan not to have to go anywhere will work!

2 Hours a Day

I can drop off the little curiosities at the gym for 2 hours a day, 7 days a week. Which I did today and it was beyond fabulous, even though I probably over did it. To keep what's left of my sanity I'll be doing that every day. I'm hoping that by the time school starts again, I can quit lying about my weight on my drivers license!

Today's Adventure

The little creatures have been fighting, kicking, pinching and calling each other naughty names since they woke up this morning. I have to go to Lowes, and take all 3 of them with me. I have already put my big ole Paula Deen wooden spoon AND a bar of soap in my purse in case they're needed!

Grandparents: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak no Evil

After the girl-curiosity just about drove me into the mouth of madness last night - this weekend I get a bit of a break from having to be the circus entertainer. Curiosity #1 is staying the night at her friend's house (where of course you know, she behaves and is very polite, unlike at home!) and it's just #s 2 & 3 here tonight.

Tomorrow, early afternoon all 3 are going for an overnight visit to their nana's house. Where they're "just angels" and neither grandparent can imagine the little darlings doing any of the naughty things I say they do here at home.

Snort. I think I'll bring some banannas for the grandparents....heh.

Taken yesterday on the cemetery outing

Off to work they go!

Today's fun for the little curiosities is to clean up the basement that they gleefully messed up over the last week. If asked to do something aside from playing or eating they suddenly develop strange ailments, like losing their hearing and the ability to understand English. However, if I say "are you hungry" their hearing comes back and they can understand what I am saying. Strange, don't you think?